in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
We are two peas in an std pod
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
