You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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