Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Randomize
