I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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