I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
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