went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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