i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
