White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
