white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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