Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize