new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
