we made out on top of his cat.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
i need some magic done to my vagina
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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