I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
