You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
