Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Will exercising make me less horny?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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