No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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