Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
