I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
