Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
