I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
if only i could text you this smell
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Randomize
