guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
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