some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
