Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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