garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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