So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
