Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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