So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
