Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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