do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
