my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
