I cannot find my penis.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Randomize
