She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
