I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I want to fling myself into the sun
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize