Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Acid is not a monday night drug
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
You did what with his pubic hair?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize