I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
