i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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