I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
