just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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