Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Randomize
