I want to stick my p in your. b.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
