oh god the rape fog is back!
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize