I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
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