When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
