I seem to have left my pride at pride
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
