Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I accidentally had phone sex last night
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Randomize
