The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
