Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
