Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
