Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
