Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
How's work?
Spinning.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
