how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
and she was petting her beer can
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
