i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
