So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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