he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
i will never coherently bang her
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
