i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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