I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
