is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
