Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
