im six kinds of drunk right now
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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