Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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