i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
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