when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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