"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize