I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
