I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
