i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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