Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
