In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Randomize