mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
