do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
