The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
