dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize